Worth The Effort

I had a wonderful visit with a long-time friend the other day. We have known each other since before high school and have maintained a valued friendship for decades. Every time we get together there is chemistry, a genuine caring for each other, and a sense of honesty in our relationship that is so refreshing. We have played and worked together on many teams and my life is richer because he is in it.

But here is the thing. After we graduated from university, he became distant. Not only did he not initiate any contact between us but he did not respond to any of my repeated attempts to stay connected. Then he left to do some traveling abroad. It would have been so easy to lose contact permanently. There were many people I liked in high school who I did lose touch with.

But my friend returned from his travels and contacted me. He knew he had pushed me away and wanted to explain why. The why was very complicated and had a lot to do with his mental state at the time and his ability to connect with anyone, but that is another story. Suffice to say I was still there for him and we have maintained a powerful friendship ever since.

I started to think about my other closest friends and how lucky I am to have them in my life. They are special and many people have told me they wished they had more long-term relationships. But then I thought deeper – luck had little to do with it! Staying connected with them has not been easy. Each of us has moved away and then returned, we have become pre-occupied at times with our own lives, and we have moved in different directions. Yet, we have remained connected. That took some staying power. That took calling to set up a get together more than once when no response was received on the first attempt. Ask any of them today, and they would all say the same thing. We are blessed to have the powerful connections that we have now. Our lives are better for them!

What about you? Are you too busy to make the effort to stay connected? Is it your turn to call a friend or is it his or her turn? When all is said and done it will not matter who put in more effort to stay connected. What will matter is that you are connected with people that you value and who enrich your life.



  1. Brian Sim  January 31, 2012

    Hi John,

    Sitting here in Dutch Valley New Brunswick looking at Facebook, and your name popped up. The Contact Hitter, I watched a short video and enjoyed your talk. I used to roam center field for the Giroux A’s back a few years ago. Had the opportunity to play against you a few times in my career, and enjoyed the games.

    • john9361  February 18, 2012

      Hi Brian,
      I remember indeed. My time playing for Giroux at the end of my career was some of my most rewarding. Thanks for connecdting with me. I hope life is good out in New Brunswick!


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